Fleurting With Disaster: The Cheese Stands Alone

When my sister, we call her Dibs, encouraged me to begin blogging, I thought, "Oh my God! What on Earth would I write about?" I tossed the idea around for a long while, read other blogs, trying to get a feel for other bloggers styles and content. I tend to be a perfectionist (who is FAR from perfect, mind you) and when I set out on a project of any sort, I need all the information I can get on the subject. I think it's more a matter of being fearful of looking silly if I don't know all the ins and outs of what I'm doing.

There are some bloggers I identify with, others I don't. I may like their work, I may try every recipe they share and love them. But something doesn't click for me. I thought a lot about why I didn't feel a connection and it finally hit me a few days ago what it is. Dibs and I were discussing a very well-liked blogger and I enjoy her work, her style, her recipes. She has it going on. But I don't read her blog. She intimidates me. Hmmmm... Why? She's too organized and he life seems too much in control (no, I'm not talking about Martha Stewart, I promise). I can't relate to her. She doesn't seem real. She works very hard, but things are just a little too perfect.

Now, this may be the hardest part of what I intend to do here. Be real. Or at least be as real as practical and still provide some entertainment, or information. If I constantly write about how disorganized I am, or how cluttered my closets are, what do I really have to offer you? I may not share photos of my cluttered closets, but then again, I may! I will eventually share recipes and artsy projects here, I'm sure. But I'm going to start by exposing myself a bit (not in a lewd and lascivious sort of way.)

I wonder about a lot of things. A lot of times I wonder if other people feel the same way I do about things. As long as I can remember, I've always felt slightly out of sync with other people. I don't say this to garner sympathy at all, it's just how I felt. Like I'm perpetually outside the circle looking in. Dramatically, the cheese standing alone. (If you never played "Farmer in the Dell" as a child, you won't get that reference)

It used to make me feel awkward and uncomfortable. As I've grown older, I've begun to feel differently about it. I wonder if everyone feels that way to some extent. If we are self-aware, we are bound to recognize our uniqueness, our individuality, the things that set us apart from everyone else. The good and the bad. We seek out people who we can connect to, we seek out similarities so we are not standing outside the circle alone. I think we also look for shared failings and weaknesses. We look to connect with people who are real, or at least share as much realness as we are prepared to handle.

On Facebook and Twitter, we tend to share the shiny bright things of our lives. The things that glimmer on the surface of us. The things we want our friends and families to "like". These things are real, but they're not necessarily REAL. Not the whole story, it's the photo that excludes the crap inside the cluttered closet, and that's okay. But I hope to share some things about lessons learned from time to time, I'm going to let my defenses down a bit and be real. Nothing too heavy, I promise, just every day stuff I hope some of you can relate to and maybe we will have a smile together as we spin inside this circle not standing alone.